A message from Sandy.  ”God gave us two eyes, to ears and only one mouth. And we should use them in that ratio.”—Unknown

 Are you a good listener?

                                  We listen to obtain information.

                                  We listen to understand.

                                  We listen for enjoyment.

                                  We listen to learn.

Listening is rarely, if ever taught in schools because educators along with almost everyone else assume that listening is automatic, like breathing. But effective listening is a skill, which like any other skill is achieved through learning and practice. Listening takes time, or more accurately, you need to take the time to listen. Listening requires a temporary suspension of all unrelated thoughts, this means learning to manage what goes on in your own mind.

Patience, compassion, and empathy are also important traits, and don’t forget to be curious! (this could be the most vital piece to the listening puzzle). We all know the golden rule, “Care for others the way you would like them to care for you.” So make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying, but more importantly, try to understand the total message being sent. Listening helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts and improve accuracy.

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”—Unknown

Do you make yourself accessible to really hear people? Kindness is powerful and contagious, but as Janis and Terry have taught us,what a gift it is to be truly listened to, this gesture could make all the difference in someones day. We should never underestimate the potential we all have to make a difference by listening.Can you hear me now?

  A message from Sandy. In the book 25 Ways to Win With People, author John Maxwell discusses how anyone can win with people by making them feel like a million bucks. Isn’t it time to let the people around you know how much you need and appreciate them?

John Maxwell states,  ”the day that I realized I could not longer do everything myself was a major step in my development as a person and a leader. I have always had vision, plenty of ideas, and vasts amounts of energy. But when the vision gets bigger than you, you really only have two choices: give up on the vision or get help. I chose the latter.”

No matter how successful you are, no matter how accomplished or important, you do need people. That’s why you need to let them know that you cannot win without them. President Woodrow Wilson said, “We should not only use all the brains we have–but all that we can borrow.” Why stop with just their brains? Enlists people’s hands and hearts too! How can you let people know that you need them?

 A message from Sandy. 

 ”Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.”———-Ernest Hemingway

 What are your expectations? Are they realistic? If we want that happy ending, do we need to let go of the fairy tale and start appreciating our reality? How we view our reality has a lot to do with our level of happiness. If the view is a negative one, we’re most likely discontent. Negative thinking tends to create stress and unhappiness. We tend to think that it is being unhappy that leads people to complain, when actually it is complaining that leads people to be unhappy. Dissatisfaction and negative thinking become habits. But as we know, all habits can be broken.

So how do we break the habit of negative thinking? Remember that old song “Don’t Worry Be Happy?” Maybe that is the simplest advice. Decide to eliminate all of your negative thoughts for one week. That’s right—no worrying, stressing or complaining. Challenge yourself and your team. For one week, resolve that you will stop comparing what you have right now with what you hoped you would have. Determine that whatever your lot in life—you’re building on it. How will you implement this challenge? I’d love to hear back how your week goes.

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”—-Mark Twain

A note from Janis…

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

By taking the first step toward change, you begin to change the way you think. In everything we do, the battle in the mind is the hardest, so change the way you think and you will change what you do.

Steps For Change ~

Step 1 – Define your current situation.

Step 2 – Consider the pros and cons

Step 3 – Affirm your commitment to change.

Step 4 – Visualise the future.

Step 5 – Build an action plan.

Step 6 – Do it now!

    A message from Sandy. 

   “Don’t deny yourself a sense of play—a chance to step down, relax, refresh yourself, put your mole hills in perspective and not let them become mountains.”—-Unknown

We’ve all heard about the importance of resting a team before the big game so that the players will be physically renewed, even the President of the United State retreats regularly to Camp David. Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison were known to take cat naps in the middle of their experiments, so that they could return with more powerful insights. And for heaven’s sake , the creator of our universe knew  we needed to rest on the seventh day!

It is easy to get caught up in the momentum of life. If you try to slow down , do you have feelings of guilt? How could I be so selfish or so lazy I ask myself. If you find you are overwhelmed with responsibilities to the point of mild insanity, it is definitely time to give yourself permission for a break. Giving yourself a break is not a treat, it is a vital necessity to our well-being.

When you feel tired, frazzled, stressed, or overwhelmed, it’s important to stop and refresh your spirit and nurture your body. It doesn’t matter if you take a walk, go to a movie, listen to music, read a book,clean house or immerse yourself in your favorite hobby. During a time-out you’ll rekindle your spirit and perhaps receive some important insights. 

IF YOU HAD AN EXTRA HOUR IN YOUR DAY, HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT? (cleaning out closets, filing or paying bills are not an option)

When is the last time you took some time off from your daily routine?

When was the last time you had quiet time to yourself?

When was the last time you watched the sunset?

When was the last time you took a leisurely drive?

“Know the true value of time: snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it.”–Lord Chesterfield

  A message from Sandy.  ”Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”–Unknown

I think most people recognize that change is constant, but it can still produce some fear and discomfort. It seems unnerving as we daily  deal with life’s upheavals. Albert Einstein said, “In the middle of every difficulty lies an opportunity.” Somehow it doesn’t always feel that way when you are drowning in the unknown. If you think about it, out of every crisis comes the choice to reinvent  ourselves as individuals. Never underestimate the  power you have to change yourself.

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.”—-Amy Tan

Here are some ABC’s we should have learned in school:

Accept that change is inevitable.

Believe that you can create miraculous change in your life.

Commit to being flexible.

Once we begin learning how to cope with change, we can begin to welcome it into our lives, start to seek the unknown and experiment with life. We are all part of an ever-changing journey, and our emotional resilience depends on our ability to accept what happens to us along the way and renegotiate our own reality.

“Tough times are like speed bumps…..They only slow you down a little….They don’t throw you off course.”——-Unknown         

   A message from Sandy.  ” Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; Who looks inside, awakens.”—-Carl Jung

Perhaps it’s time to consider the value of relaxation and reflection. To make an effort to reduce the frenzy and sense of emergency that creeps into our daily lives. Time to add playfulness, serenity, and maybe a touch of laziness.(I hear the gasping! I’m gasping myself!!!) Laziness is probably the most luxurious and definitely the most difficult, but worth trying.

Slowing down to the “speed of life” may allow us to enjoy life so much more. Making time for self- reflection gives us an opportunity to tap into our deeper selves and in the end become more productive. I read somewhere that someone compared these kinds of self-nurturing breaks to emergency instructions we’re given on an airplane. The flight attendant always tells us to put on our own oxygen mask before helping our children. Why? Because we need to help ourselves first , so that we will be better equipped to help others.

Try this: List 5 things you would love to do for yourself–to nourish your mind and body–but think you have no time to do. Here’s a couple of ideas to get you started:

1. Get physical
2. Meditate
3. Take long baths
4. Pamper yourself
5. Be bored

Now imagine how you would rearrange your schedule to include even one of these things. See if you can comfortable in your self- imposed time out. What ideas do you have?

“The hardest work of all is to do nothing.”——–old Jewish saying

A note from Janis…

1.             Take personal responsibility for your life

2.             Be honest

3.             Take control of your thinking

4.             Focus on the present

5.             Forgive

6.             Let go of fear

7.             Lighten up and enjoy life

8.             Take care of yourself

9.             Love unconditionally

10.            Keep learning and growing

11.            Focus on what you want and take action

12.            Develop your spiritual life

•     A message from Sandy. Do you ever get those annoying chain letter e-mails? Well here’s one that I printed that made me think.

• Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world.
• Name the last 5 winners of the Miss America contest.
• Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
• Name the last 12 Academy Award winners for best actor or actress.
• Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?  The point is, we don’t remember all the headlines, these are certainly no second rate achievers. They are the best in their field. The applause dies, awards tarnish, achievements are forgotten.

Here is another one—See how you do:

• Name a few teachers that really made a difference for you as you journeyed through school
• Name 3 friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
• Name 5 people who have taught you something worthwhile.
• Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
• Think of 5 people you enjoy spending time with.
• Name 6 heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier? What’s the take away? The people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or awards. They are the ones who care. Their awards are in our hearts. Take a minute to consider this, and then contact those people who have made a difference in your life. Who has changed your life?