A message from Sandy. Have you ever felt puzzled by how others react to you? Are you wondering how to get along better with others at work? Here are some behaviors you may be able to quickly change to smooth out differences and improve communication. Consider these behaviors and the message they send to others, could it mean you feel you are more important than or more valuable than the other person? Take a closer look.

Interrupting:

Do you think you are a great listener, that you genuinely care about others, that you could easily sit down and listen in support of friends who need encouragement? In everyday conversation, your interrupting behavior is sending a different message. Are you working so hard to make sure your view is heard, that you talk first and listen later? Perhaps you never felt your views were “heard” growing up. Ever notice the faces of others the moment you cut them off? It’s time to gather this unpacked baggage and unload it! When you value conversation with someone, it shows.

Assuming:

Ok, we all know the old saying about assuming, but we do make judgements about people, and when we believe that only our assumption can possibly be correct we fall into a trap (or your box). Here’s an example: if someone said something that hurt your feelings, do you eagerly await for them to apologize? Do you assume that if they really cared, or were paying close enough attention to you, they would just magically know how upset you were? Wrong! How many times in relationships does one person offend the other and has absolutely no idea what happened? Really. We need to put aside our assumptions. and get better at communicating.

Do you need to learn to not be so easily offended? Have you considered what you thought was an attack or criticism was only you own insecurity? Learning to sort out the difference and be more clear about making your feelings known is important. Know that it is your responsibility to go beyond the assumption, and be sure the other person knows that something is bothering you. Give yourself and others a better chance to find the truth and resolve it. When you harbor resentment over assumptions, you create your own unhappiness.

More in my next blogs about taking without thanking; blaming others; offering nothing; not following through, and correcting others. What steps can you take to move beyond assumptions?