A message from Sandy.  Imagine you woke up this morning and had no expectations of yourself. No standard you had to live up to. How would that feel?  Do you think we demand so much of ourselves that our confidence suffers? Everyday we demand ourselves to feel fitter, look prettier, walk taller, be more productive, and even be funnier. Is it any wonder we sometimes doubt ourselves? How are we suppose to live up to our own expectations?

Here’s a simple solution: lower the pressure you put on yourself. Instead of trying to trick your mind into feeling confident, why not let go of the expectation to be perfect? Find comfort in failure. Try the concept of zero expectation (which is admittedly odd for all of us goal oriented people) Human beings are magnificent creatures, our ability to learn and perform can many times be clouded by our own thoughts. If someone throws you a ball–you catch it–there is no need to think about every step–it just happens. Let your life work with such effortlessness.

Ask “who cares?” Who cares if  you don’t wear a size 4? Who cares if you eat a chocolate bar when you’re dieting? Who cares if you’re not as charming as Hugh Grant? The answer of course is nobody…but you. The only standard you are living by is your own, so how about giving yourself a break? By not expecting so much of yourself, you automatically become more confident with who you are. Confidence appears to simply be the  failure to live up to an unreal expectation, an expectation that is held by you alone.

Try looking at the world as a level playing field, where no one  feels superior or inferior to anyone else. Money, education, occupation and reputation are achievements, not personality characteristics. Here’s a few of the personal traits we should admire: kindness, generosity of spirit, respectfulness,compassion, curiosity, and sympathy——luckily these are unifying–things we can all share, regardless of money. We are born equal. Somewhere along the line, we question our value, our connection with someone seems to blossom when there is a feeling of equality. Your confidence depends on you, do not question your value and your contribution. We are all equal and we all contribute in our own way–so start acting like it!